Alice's Discovery
by Cupid's Jinx
Summary: Alice makes a terrifying discovery whilst surfing the net. //Possible Two-shot\\
1. Oh My God, No Way!

**Sorry if this has already been done – I know it's something that's easily come by. I just couldn't resist. **

**Kudos, again, to my friend Vanessa, who threw my writing mind onto a certain tangent, and thus, this was born.**

**Vanessa, we WILL take over the Director, and kill Pattinson's hair stylist! Mwahahahaha!!!! (Just joking, don't worry...maybe ;) )**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, I'm afraid.**

**---**

A scream erupted from the second floor of the Cullen's' dwelling, sending a flock of birds squawking from the nearby trees.

"Jasper, kindly go and shut your wife up." Edward called from the piano stool, where he was teaching Bella how to play.

"Nooooo!" Alice could be heard sobbing from her bedroom.

Jasper gave a defeated sigh, threw down The Daily Forks, and hauled himself out of the living room. "Do I have to? Last time she was screaming was when she found out Kate Moss was doing her own line in clothing and demanded we all went to London for the opening."

Bella shuddered at the memory, "Edward, I'm sc-"

"Agh! This is despicable! How could _anyone_ do something so vile?"

"What is it, darling?" Esme walked out of the kitchen, to the bottom of the stairs.

"Come up here, all of you." Alice replied, finishing by muttering obscenities so strong that Edward was glad that Bella couldn't hear as well as them.

As the group huddled together, taking slow and cautious steps as they went up the stairs, Emmett and Rosalie appeared, joining the group.

"We heard Alice. Another designer attack?" Rose whispered.

Edward shook his head, "I don't think so. She's so distraught, I can't tell _what_ she's thinking."

Whilst the vampires – plus Bella – were inching their way closer and closer to their destination, Alice continued with her dry-sobbing, adding an occasional wail.

With a bit of pushing and shoving, Bella was forced to enter the room first, she edged her way to the bed warily, "What's wrong, Alice?"

Alice turned the laptop she had been sobbing on to face her best friend.

Bella gasped, "Oh my God!"

"What?" Edward came forward, and looked over Bella's shoulder, "Huh?!"

"Esme, everyone. Come look at this." Bella waved Esme, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie over.

"What the-"

"Emmett, language!"

**(Hehe, bet you're wondering what it is, huh?)**

"I'm home!" The vampires heard Carlisle from the front of the house.

"We're in Alice's room. Quick."

He was there in a flash, "Something wrong?"

Alice answered, "Twilight. Film. Us. Characters. Stephenie Meyer."

"Oh no, she's completely catatonic." Jasper was waving his hand in front of her face.

"Someone care to elaborate?" Carlisle asked, ignoring his 'daughter's' frozen state.

"There's a film, about us. It's still in the making, but they've got the cast for us." Bella told him.

"Who's playing who?"

"Carlisle, you're being played by Peter Facinelli; Esme is Elizabeth Reaser; Emmett, Kellan Lutz; Rose, Nikki Reed; Jasper, Jackson Rathbone; Alice, Ashley Greene; Bella, Kristen Stewart and me...I'm being played by Robert Pattinson." Edward informed the group.

Alice revived herself, "I look miserable; Edward has got a balls-like chin and a hairstylist who needs to be shot; Rosalie is plain; Emmett is a knucklehead; Jasper looks like he's wearing a wig; Carlisle looks like a frickin' nerd. It's disgusting!"

Emmett pulled the laptop closer to him, "Well, at least we've all got brown eyes."

Rose groaned and smacked her palm against her head.

Jasper snickered, "Well, whaddaya know, Pattinson is that Cedric dude from Harry Potter."

"Kirsten is from The Panic Room. I'd remember that face anywhere." Bella stated.

"Hey, Jasp, the people playing you and me stared in The O.C.! Reaser was in Grey's Anatomy...wow, this is so cool." Rosalie said.

Bella pulled herself away from the group, "The dream. Edward – this is the dream I had."

"The nightmare? You sure?"

"Yes, oh, Edward!" Bella threw herself into her fiancés arms.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this disturbing. Bella, come with me, we need to take our minds off it." Alice stood up, gently pulling Bella away from Edward. Bella went happily, even shopping for six hours straight was better than having to stay in that room.

As soon as the two girls left, Emmett piped up: "Right, now that they're gone – lets book tickets to go see the premier!"

---

**Okay, so, I gather that was...incredibly crap. But I just HAD to get down the idea in written form, and well – you know how crappy I am with Twilight fics...**

**Review? Please?**

**Lyra**

**-x-x-**

**P.S. Angel Is Loved will be up soon XD **


	2. Possible TwoShot?

**Hello, my darlings! Hehe.**

**Forgive me; this is not a new chapter – just a note.**

**A note to say: THERE WILL SOON BE A NEW CHAPTER/SEQUAL TO ALICE'S DISCORVERY!**

**So, -grins- just thought you'd all like to know!**

**Oh, wait! You'll all be wondering what it's about, won't you?**

**Summary: **_Alice gets into contact with some of her human friends to seek revenge on the casters of the Twilight movie. But what _will_ her accomplices come up with, and just who _are_ these fellow conspirators?_

Lots and lots of love from your estatic author (for finishing her very last exam and is now FREE FOR THE SUMMER!)

Lyra (Who's currently celebrating by drinking stacks of root beer and dancing in the backgarden)

-x-x-


	3. Funny

**Hey Hey Sugar!**

**I was browsing through one of the many fabulous Bebo Twilight fanprofiles' pictures, and I found something that made me laugh, linked to this!**

/PhotoAlbumBig.jsp?PageNbr1&MemberId4982106862&PhotoAlbumId8236388360&PhotoId8236421434

(In case that didn't work) http : / / www . bebo . com / PhotoAlbumBig . jsp ? PageNbr 1 & MemberId 4982106862 & PhotoAlbumId 8236388360 & PhotoId 8236421434 (Just take out the spaces)

Still diliberating on whether or not I'm going to write a second chapter for this...

Lyra

-x-


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